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  • 2008年09月10日

    应付难于相处的同事的几个方法 - [职场生涯]

     在我们一生中,,我们总会有一两次碰到过难于相处的同事.你可能还能叫出一两人的名字来.这些人让你特别地难于对付.难于相处的同事有很多特征.可能他们总是迟到,没做好工作,爱抢别人的功劳,借了东西不归还，爱抱怨,不珍惜他们的生活,总觉得生活欺骗了他们,或爱发脾气.不管他们具有前面列举的哪个特征,事实上他们都会让办公室里每一天变得特别难过. 那么,应付这类人,有什么好方法吗?我想,不同情况所采用的方法会不同.从我自己的经历来说,我已经试过几乎每一个办法去改善他们的态度.坦诚地讲,我的所做的努力没有得到任何效果.所以, 我转而用其他的方法很职业化地应付这样的同事.

    我的经历很可能跟你们的类似.每天当我走进办公室,别人都很消极地跟我打招呼.不幸地是,我是在一家小公司上班的,于是每当我走进办公室门时,我就能感觉到那个人的消极.在过去的三年里,我相信我的那位同事只有过四五天的好心情.其他时候,她的生活都过得很糟糕.但她不是直接地处理它,反而把这种不幸转嫁给她的同事.为什么她的生活会不幸呢?我们来看看她这个人.她不爱她的丈夫,很想跟他离婚,她给在千里之外的人发邮件的次数还要多过她跟她家聊天的次数.她不喜欢她的工作,经常看到和听她在大喊大叫，因为她的工作要让她很久没写博客了．我相信如果让她的生活从来的话，她会绝不结婚，生孩子，会尽可能地远离她的大家庭．总之，她讨厌她的生活．或许这对她是有点残酷的．她确实很爱她的孩子，但希望他们很够自食其力．晚上她不想回家，而且常常很怕过周末．她也不喜欢她的工作，但她用工作来逃避她的生活上的问题和困难．这样一来，当她来上班时，她就把她的所有的消极的思想带给她身边的同事了．别人弄出了噪声，那怕是很轻微的，都会引起她的反感．但她自己却带着耳机在听音乐，那声音大的所有的人都能听到。在接到客户请求多给点时间使用商品的电话时，她把电话给狠狠地摔在地上，甚至砸在她自己的头上．这样的事举不胜举．大多数人每天在工作场所都不得不应付至少其中这样一类的人．

    那么，对付这样的悲观的，厌世的，或许懒散或不懂感恩的同事，有什么方法最有效呢？下面有几个方法可供参考使用．

    １，叫他们滚开，或告诉他们到哪里去消除他们的怨气．可能大家包括我自己都很想在很多场合使用这种方法．然而，这种方法最好不要轻易使用．首先，你要这样做了，你就把自己也变成他们中的一员了，而且，这反而让他们造成的糟糕的工作环境变的更糟糕．第二，他们之所以有这样的行为，可能背后是有原因的．可能他们碰到了健康，家庭，或钱方面上的问题，这给他们很大的压力．但他们又不想说出来．叫他们滚开而不理会他们的感受只会让他们的生活态度更消极．

    ２，对他们视而不见．这个也不是一很好的选择．除非你是真的很享受他们每天给办公室营造的消极的氛围．

    ３，跟他们谈话，然后跟老板讲．这个很可能是较好的起点．抽出一点时间，如在歇息时候，告诉他们你在担心他们的态度在影响办公室的氛围．当然，我们都会偶尔把自己的个人生活带到工作上来．但是，一周复一周，一月复一月，年复一年都这样做的话，是难于接受的．请求他们不要把个人问题带到办公室．过了几个星期后，如果这个情况还没有改善的话，那就该跟你的老板反映情况并说明你的担忧．

    ４，借个肩膀给他依靠并聆听．我是很心善的人，所以我对人很宽厚．说实话，在我的情况下，这并不是很好的开头．然后，这个方法还是值得一试．如果你没有看到很大的改善，或没感觉到你的时间和建议起到作用的话，那就不再帮他们处理他们的问题了．我花无数个小时来听她重复地讲他的事，并每次都给她同样的建议．我想在一定程度上我是可怜她的．怎么会有人的生活会这么不幸呢？我想帮她找到解决的办法，找到她的幸福．但是，我所做的一切只是让她有机会宣泄下她的失望和沮丧．这个宣泄可能过了头了，她可能会忘了改善她的生活，而只是沉浸在抛开生活问题之后的短暂的安详中．但是，这还是值得一试．我觉得大多数人还是想得到别人帮助或有用的建议的．你可能能看出他们的问题所在，并帮他们扭转他们的生活局面．但要明白适可而止．

    ５，辞工．这个也真是不是好的抉择．尤其在今天的就业环境，没有大多的工作，特别工资高的工作不多．然而，如果你已经安慰过他们，并把问题反映给了老板，但这个工作环境还是没有得到任何改善．这时，你该考虑换工作了．对我来说，最后我选择了这个方法．这很令人伤心，因为我真的很喜欢这个公司和我的职位．我选择了以在家做事的形式继续为这家公司工作．这事使我和我的家庭收入发生了改变．但最后，这个选择让我自己和我的家人的生活质量得到更好的改善．

    至于我的那位同事，她还在那家公司上班．她的生活还是那样糟糕．为此，我特别同情她．当你要应付一位难对付的同事时，要从大局出发．记住，要让自己站得高一些和看得远一些．总会有办法解决问题的，但要想改善这个局面，你可能不得不踏出第一步．祝大家好运．

     

    Difficult coworkers - we've all dealt with them at one point or another in our lifetime. You know the one, you've probably got a name or two at the tip of your tongue. These are the people that make one dread going. The difficult coworker can have many traits that qualify them into this, not so sought after, classification. Perhaps they are always late, don't pull their weight, take credit for things they don't do, borrow everything and return nothing, complain about everything, hate their lives in general, feel as though life has cheated them so why should they care or try, or are just plain grumpy. Which ever categories they fit within, the simple truth is that they make office life a bit intolerable on a day to day basis. So, what is the best way to deal with these types of people? I suppose the situation is different for each situation, but through my own experiences I have tried almost every option to improve their attitude. I must honestly admit that my efforts have been to no avail. So, in turn I have turned to other methods of dealing with this coworker in a professional manner(even though at times I would love to share a few choice words).

    My story is one that may be similar to yours. Each, and every, day I walk into the office and am greeted by negativity. I happen to work in a very small branch office. Therefore, the negativity pouring from this person can be felt the moment you enter the door. I the past three years, I believe that my coworker has had only four or dive good days. The rest of her life is miserable and she has opted to take it out on her coworkers instead of dealing with it directly. Why is her life miserable? Well, let's see. She doesn't love her husband and really needs to get out of that relationship, she emails people thousands of miles away more than she talks to her own family, she hates her job and can often be seen and heard yelling because she has to stop blogging long enough to do her work, I believe that if she had to do her life over again she would never have gotten married - never had kids - and would be as far away from her extended family as possible. All in all, she hates her life. Perhaps this is a bit tough. She does love her children, but would like for them to be completely self sufficient. She hates going home at night and usually dreads the weekends. While she also dislikes her job, she uses work as her escape from her life issues and challenges. In turn, all of her negative feelings are dumped out on those she is around when she is not home. The slightest noise causes her disgust, yet she plays music on her headphones loud enough we can all hear it. Phones have been slammed, even on her own head, in response to a client that may ask for a slightly more time consuming item. The list goes on and on and on. Again, most people in the work place must deal with at least one of these types of people on a daily basis.

    So, what is the best way to deal with the gloomy, life hates me, perhaps lazy or ungrateful coworker? There are several options available:

    Tell them off or tell them where they can shove their attitude. This is perhaps the one that we all dream of, including myself on numerous occasions. However, this is one of the last things you should do. First, by doing this you lower yourself to their level and in turn only add to the already poor work environment that they created. Second, their may be a reason behind the way they are acting. Perhaps they are dealing with health, family, or monetary issues that have placed huge burden on them that they have chosen not to talk about. Telling them &ldquo;off&rdquo; would only worsen their view on life.

    Ignore the situation. This too is not really an option. That is unless you really do enjoy the negativity that they decorate the workplace with on a daily basis.

    Talk to them and then talk to the boss. This is probably a better starting point. Take some time out of your day, perhaps during a break and express your concerns over how their attitude is causing a decline in the work atmosphere. Of course we will all bring our personal lives to work once in a while. However, doing so on a week to week, month to month, and year to year basis is not acceptable. Ask them to leave personal problems outside the office. After a few weeks, if the situation has not improved then it may be time to talk to your boss and explain your concerns to him/her.

    Lend a shoulder to lean on and listen. Being the soft-hearted person that I am, this is where I started. I can honestly say, that in my situation, it was not a wise starting point. However, it is worth a try. If you don't see a significant improvement, or feel that your time and suggestions are helping, then stop helping them put a band aide on their life wounds. I spent countless hours listening to the same story over and over and offering her the same suggestions. I suppose part of me really felt sorry for her. How could any one person be some completely miserable with their life? I wanted to help her find her way, to find her happiness. Yet, all I was doing was providing her with that momentary outlet of frustration. It was enough of an outlet that she would ignore trying to improve her life and only relish in the momentary peace she found from venting her life problems. Again, it is worth a try. You see, I feel that most people would welcome a lending hand or a helpful suggestion. I don't know many people(outside this one person) that has accepted her life as one filled with depression and hopelessness. You may have insight into their problems that could really help them turn their life around. Just know when enough is enough.

    Quit. OK - this really isn't an option either. Especially in today's work environment. Jobs are thin, especially decent paying ones. However, if you find that the work environment only worsens after you have tried confronting them and addressing the issues with your boss, perhaps it is time to look at other options for yourself. For me, this ended up being the option. This is sad, as I really love the company I work for and I love what I do. I opted to continue working for the company, but in a home based capacity. This changed a few things financially for me and my family, but in the long run it ended up being the answer to a much better quality of life for both myself and my family.

    As for my coworker, she is still in the office. Her life is still miserable and for that I feel a great sense of compassion for her. When you have to deal with a &ldquo;difficult&rdquo; coworker, try to look at the big picture. Remember to keep yourself on a higher ground than the one that they are creating around themselves. Things have a way of working themselves out, but you may have to take the first step in order to improve the situation. All of my best to you!

     


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    chapi 发表于19时03分42秒 | 编辑 | 继续话题 | 转发 | 分享　0