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生命是一种平衡状态，我们必须保持这种平衡而不是打破平衡。所以，在忙碌的同时，一定要精心聆听并呵护自己的心灵，培养积极、乐观的心态，自信、坦然、从容地走在人生路上。
美国心理卫生学会提出的心理平衡的10条要诀：
1、对自己不苛求。每个人都有自己的抱负，目标定得太高，难以实现，是自寻烦恼;对自己要求十全美，有一点瑕疵就会自责，也是自我伤害。把目标和要求限定在自己能力范围之内，懂得欣赏自己已取得的成就，心情自然会舒畅。
2、不要处处与人争斗。处处与人争斗，会经常处于紧张状态。其实，人际之间应和谐相处，只要你不敌视别人，别人也不会与你为敌。
3、对亲人期望不要过高。妻子盼望丈夫飞黄腾达，父母希望儿女成龙成凤，是人之常情。但当对方不能满足自己的期望时，也不必大失所望。每个人都有自己的生活道路，何必要求别人迎合自己。
4、暂离困境。受到挫折时，暂且将烦恼放下，去做自己喜欢做的事，如运动、打球、读书等，待心境平和后，再重新面对难题，思考解决的办法。
5.适当让步。处理工作和生活中的一些问题，在非原则问题方面无需过分坚持，退一步，海阔天空。
6.对人表示善意。生活中被人排斥的时候，适当表示出自己的善意，诚挚地伸出友谊之手，自然就会朋友多，隔阂少。
7.找人倾诉烦恼。不要把所有的烦恼都闷在心里，适当向知己好友倾诉，心情会顿感舒畅。
8.帮助别人做事。助人为快乐之本，帮助别人不仅可以表现自己存在的价值，还可以获得珍贵的友谊和快乐。
9.积极娱乐。生活中适当娱乐，调节情绪，舒缓压力，增长新的知识和乐趣。
10.知足常乐。荣与辱、升与降、得与失，往往不以个人意志为转移，荣辱不惊，淡泊名利，做到心理平衡是极大的快乐。 -
2007年12月10日
让自己开始做事的8个简单要诀 - [杂七杂八]
“人生的悲剧并不在于生命短暂，而是碌碌无为”
“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”
- W. M. Lewis
设法去简单地改善自己生活，遇到的一个最大的问题就是你好像总是没有开始去做。你总是对自己说：“还没有到时间”。
有时候可能确实没到时间，但是有时候这只是你拖延的其中一个理由。因为在你打算开始做一件事情的时候，总是会有来自内部和外部的阻碍。
如果你在开始做事情上有一些困难，可以试试下面的这些方法，希望能对你有所帮助：
选择你确实想做的事情（Choose something you really want）
一直说在做某件事情，不过看起来好像总没开始做。其中一个原因是你没有把心思投入进去。
如果你设置了一个目标，但这个目标并不是你自己的目标，那么这个目标就很难达到甚至很难开始去做。
如果你意识到这个目标是你周围的人-父母，老师，老板等给你设定的，那么你可以在合适的时候，消除这些目标，然后给自己设定一些自己想去做的目标。或者，你可以找让自己实现这些目标（并不是你周围人设置的目标）的动力和理由，这会让你从别的视角看待你的这些目标，而且你会觉得很有动力去实现它。
研究相关事项并制定一个计划（Research and make a plan）
在开始做一件事情前，所有的不利因素和可能出现的问题都停留在我们的头脑里。这些因素和意见可能是建立在你听到的一些人或一些事情上的。
“小马过河”的故事大家都应该知道。不管什么事情，只有自己做了才真正能成为自己的经验。
为了开始做你想做的事你应该自己做一些研究，通过看书、google或者问一些做过和你想做的事情类似的人。通过做一些研究，你也可以减少来自自身的阻力和焦虑，同时也会发现一些积极的方面。在你对你所要做的事情有了一些研究，并知道一些如何实现它的方法后，你就可以制定一个计划了。把开始时间，要做什么，怎么做，花费多长时间清晰地理出来，写下来。这样你的那些没必要的担心和消极的情绪就不会再拖延你的开始了。
问自己最坏的情况可能是什么？（Ask yourself: What is the worst that could happen?）
在你做了一些研究并制定了计划后，你可能已经少了很多无谓的担心和焦虑。如果你仍然觉得你还是不能开始做事，那么问问自己：最坏的情况会是什么?
在开始做一件事情前，很大一部分恐惧来自于你对所要发生的事情的不切实际的幻想。但是如果你真正地想像一下最坏可能会发生的情况，并对这种情况制定一个应对的计划。你将会意识到，不论你担心害怕的是什么，你大不了会又一次重新回到平常的生活中。
选择容易实现的方式（Make it easy on yourself）
你没有必要把事情想得过于复杂。用适合自己的容易的办法将会让事情更容易开始。
例如：与其在健身馆买一张会员卡，花20分钟去那里锻炼，倒不如在看电视，打游戏或者看书的时候就顺便锻炼。
给自己打气（Pump your emotional state）
如果你要做的事情之前从未进行过尝试，你可能需要给自己打打气，以便调整好自己的精神状态。例如，你第一次进健身馆，可能有些紧张。这时你可以听一些音乐，放松自己。有些时候，可以试着改变自己的生理习惯看看自己的感觉有什么变化。
从别人那里得到鼓励和帮助（Find encouragement and help from other people）
例如，你也许在健身馆里找到和你一样想开始锻炼的伙伴。那么你们可以互相激励来坚持锻炼。
不过，如果你没有其他朋友和你一起做这件事，也不要苦恼，不要让这成为你开始做事情的障碍。
你可以通过阅读一些励志类的博客，论坛，或者把自己的事情写在博客里，这样也会得到别人给你支持和帮助。
只要你开始做（ Just do it）
如果你只是坐着想，一天天过去了却还没有开始。那你就应该停止你的这种“过虑”，让你的脑子歇一会，不用考虑那么多了。去整理整理衣服，给别人打电话，或者其他任何你想做的事情都可以，只要你开始做。当你的想法和感受让你觉得踌躇不前的时候，我觉得你应该停止理会你的想法，关键是开始行动。
学会时间管理（Learn about time management）
如果你开始做事情后，由于时间的原因，遇到了一些麻烦。那么推荐你学习一下时间管理方法，把时间管理养成一种习惯。8 Simple Tips for Getting Started with Something
“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”
W. M. Lewis
One big problem with trying to improve your life simply is that sometimes you never seem to be able to get started. You say to yourself: ”There is never really time”.
Sometimes that’s true. Sometimes you’re just procrastinating or postponing for some reason.
There is often quite a bit of inner resistance when trying to get started.
If you have trouble getting started here are at least a few tips you can try. I hope that you’ll find them helpful.
1. Choose something you really want.
One reason that you may never seem to get started is because your heart is not in it. If you set a goal but it isn’t your goal then it will be hard to achieve or even getting started with it.
If you realize that it’s a goal set by people around you – parents, teachers, bosses or society in general – then, when possible, eliminate the goal and set a few goals you would like to achieve.
Or try to find you own motivation and reasons for achieving a goal rather than the ones people around you have set. This could put the goal in different light and suddenly you’ll feel a whole lot motivated to get started.
2. Research and make a plan.
Downsides and problems that we imagine before getting started are often just in our heads. They are a bunch of excuses or opinions based on something you heard from someone at one time or another. Do a bit of your own research instead. Read books, do some googling and ask people who have actually been where you want to go.
With a bit of research you can often reduce your inner resistance and anxieties and find more positive benefits in getting started.
After you have done some research and know a bit more about your goal and the road towards it create a plan. Creating a plan, writing down when you have to do this and that can also calm you down and lessen much of the fuzzy anxiety and fear that can hold you back from getting started. With a clearer image of what you can do and how you should go about it a big chunk of your negative feelings will become less powerful.
3. Ask yourself: What is the worst that could happen?
After you have done some research and made a plan you will probably have lessened your fears and anxieties a bit. If you still feel like you can’t get started ask yourself: what is the worst that can happen?
A lot of the fear we feel before getting started comes from fuzzy and foggy thoughts about what could happen. But if you actually imagine the worst scenario then it’s often not as frightening as you thought. You won’t die or anything. And it won’t ruin the rest of your life.
Imagine the worst scenario and then try to create a plan how you could get on your feet again if that scenario, against all probability, should happen. You’ll probably realize that whatever your fear is you could probably get back on your feet and back to normal life pretty quickly once again.
4. Make it easy on yourself.
You don’t have to overcomplicate things. If you do there is bigger chance that you’ll give up before what you started becomes a habit.
Making it easier on yourself will make it easier to get started.
So, for instance, instead of buying a membership at the gym that is located 20 minutes away from your house to improve your aneoarobic capacity invest in Stairmaster. And start working out while watching TV, playing videogames or doing some reading.
5. Pump your emotional state.
If you just need a boost in motivation to head down the gym for the first time or try out something new there is a whole bunch of techniques you can use. Some of my favourites are guided mediation cds, changing your physiology to change how you feel and listening to inspirational material. You can find 25 ways to motivate yourself here and another 5 here.
6. Find encouragement and help from other people.
You may for instance find a buddy who also wants to start working out in a gym. So you motivate each other to get going and to continue that habit.
I think this can become an excuse though. If you don’t have friend that wants to start working out with you don’t let that stand in your way.
You can find motivation from others in other places. Start reading workout blogs and get involved in that community. Or start a blog of your own. Or start participating in a forum or two to find the support and help you may need.
7. Just do it.
If you are sitting around just procrastinating day in and day out just stop over-thinking. Shut off you brain. Just put on your clothes – or sit down at the phone, computer or wherever you need to be - and go and just do it. When our thoughts and feelings and constantly holding us back then I think that you sometimes just need to stop listening to them and take action.
This is easy to say of course. It’s a bit harder to do and to develop into a consistent habit. But it is possible. Thinking has its place but it isn’t action. No matter how much you think you still need to take action. Developing a just do it habit can make taking action easier and will stop you from wasting a lot of time going over different scenarios – that are mostly negative - over and over in your head.
Just getting going and doing something even if your thoughts and feelings want to hold you back becomes easier if you have small list of positive benefits in your mind or on a piece of paper. Then you know why you should go even if you don’t feel like it and are having negative and self-defeating thoughts and feelings at the moment.
And if you think back to the times in past when you first felt hesitant you may remember that those negative feelings pretty quickly were replaced with more positive ones. And you were happy that you got started. It’s pretty likely that the same thing will happen this time too.
8. Learn about time management.
If your troubles getting started actually just are based in a lack of time have a look at these 10 Tips for Freeing Up More Time For Yourself. Or check out this article on the 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People. Hopefully you’ll find a few tips that can help you manage your time better and finally get started with that thing you’ve been wanting to do for some time now.
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